Happy Stroke-iversary and Birthday to 7-11

Well Happy Birthday 7-11.  We share today as "special".  Today, one year ago, I was sitting in the CCU in Juneau following a non-vascular stroke and finding out I had three brain tumors.  Well, what says "I'm alive" more than a free slurpee from 7-11 and processed cheese from a dispenser?  I know a little indigestion makes me feel human ;)

I can't believe cancer and I have only been in a relationship for the past year.  This year has flown by so fast yet feels like the slowest year of my life.  I have had so much change; moved to Seattle, had brain surgery, had chemo, went into remission, moved back to Juneau, found out cancer came back, and moved back to Seattle.  Yet, at the same time, things are kind of the same as they were one year ago.  At the end of the day I still have cancer. Sure, I physically live in a new place but my body still has cancer.  I went through almost a whole year of chemo for nothing in regards to cancer.  However, in regard to understanding my life, this last year has been the best one yet.  Yes, I had a stroke and I have cancer, but those things are not going to stop me from living.  Those things have taught me more about life than anything in my life the previous 28 years.  I have had to learn the good, the bad, and the ugly of life; while also being taught the truth about love, kindness, and forgiveness.

I am young and the stroke was a blessing in disguise.  When I had the stroke it was the first time, ever, I have felt not in control of my life.  Literally.  I could not control my body, this was very hard for me.  I am a control freak.  The left side of MY body did not feel like my left side. I would try to move and I could not.  The night of my stroke, I thought not being in control was what was going to kill me.  Now I am grateful because, cancer has taught me I am not in control and that is okay.  The night of my stroke I realized I have never been in control of anything.  There truly is something, larger than me controlling my life.  I have made plans and they don't always happen how I planned, yet the outcome is always more than I could have asked for.  For example, I never wanted nor planned for cancer, yet everything is working out and lining up for me to be fine.


I am grateful for my stroke. I am happy I have a Stroke-iversary.  It is a reminder that life can change over night.  I mean that literally.  366 days ago I was considers healthy and fishing and hiking out at the beautiful glacier in Juneau like a "normal" person, then BAM I woke up sick.  We should not take life for granted.  Ever!  We never know what the next day brings because we are not in control of each day.

Here is to wishing everyone happiness on my stroke-iversary and 7-11's birthday.  Don't forget to get your free slurpee before 11pm tonight on 7-11!

27 ways to help someone with cancer

If you don't follow Elana Millers Blog, you should.  http://zenpsychiatry.com/27-ways-to-make-the-day-of-someone-with-cancer/

I wish everyone knew these 27 things!  Take note my friends!

27 Ways to Help Someone With Cancer

1. Deliver a meal. Make sure to ask in advance if they have any dietary restrictions or are following any guidelines. Stay for a visit, or just drop off the food if they’re not up for it.
2. Deliver a tupperware of several pre-made meals that your friend can heat up as needed.
3. Send a quick email, text, or message saying you’re thinking of them.
4. Add “Feel free to take me up on this offer whenever” when you offer help — they’ll know the offer will still be sincere whenever they need it — in a week, a month, a year.
5. Set a calendar alert reminding you to check in with a quick hello or offer of help on a regular basis.
6. Text them next time you’re at the grocery store and ask if they’d like you to pick anything up.
7. Send a housekeeper to clean up their place. Take care of the details so they just need to be there to open the door.
8. Send a mobile masseuse for a gift massage.
9. Text them the next time you’re at the drug store to see if they need any toiletries.
10. Text them the next time you’re at the pharmacy to see if they need any prescriptions picked up.
11. Add “No need to respond” to the end of your message — they’ll appreciate hearing from you without feeling they need to do anything in return.
12. Offer to take them out for a coffee or lunch date.
13. Offer to visit. Make sure to check that they’re feeling up for it.
14. Offer to take them out to a movie. If they’re too tired, come by with a rental.
15. Offer a ride to chemo and keep them company during the treatment. Even better, commit to giving a ride on a regular basis throughout their treatments.
16. Let them know you’re “on call” for emergencies. Mean it.
17. Send a flower delivery. However, make sure the person isn’t on neutropenic precautions first; fresh flowers can be an infection risk for cancer patients with weakened immune systems. Sadly, I had to give away the many wonderful flower deliveries I got right after my diagnosis.
18. Order take-out and have it delivered. Ask if they have a favorite restaurant, or if they seem too overwhelmed to make any decisions, just get a sense of their dietary preferences and pick out a nice meal for them.
19. Gift a magazine or newspaper subscription.
20. Gift your favorite book.
21. Tell them you love and care about them. Even if they don’t have the energy to respond, your message means a lot.
22. For your lady cancer friend, take her out to a nice beauty treatment. Think: manicure/pedicure, facial, makeup application, etc. It may be the first time she’s splurged on her appearance in a while.
23. Send a card. Make sure it’s legible — cancer eyes are tired eyes 
24. Give an Uber or Lyft gift certificate if you’re not available to offer a ride. I’m a huge fan of Uber and have been using it happily and regularly since my diagnosis.
25. If you’re a close friend or family member, offer to be a “point” person” where you screen and accept/decline other’s invite and help offers. Right after a diagnosis there are many who want to help and visit and call, but the person with cancer might be extremely overwhelmed and need some space for the time being.
26. Understand that a cancer patient is likely too overwhelmed to ask what they need; take the initiative by offering specifics instead of saying “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
27. Cancer isn’t contagious — give your buddy a hug to let them know you’re on their side.